Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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