It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
