Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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