He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize