I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
