He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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