how can u be prego again
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
