Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
