Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
