I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
