his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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