garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
