just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
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I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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