Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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