i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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