Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
