im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
