why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
