Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize