his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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