Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
