Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
