please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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