Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
