Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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