remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize