so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
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i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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