There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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