They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
