Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
