I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
