dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
