We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
