just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
