Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
