P.S. I can't hear my feet
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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