Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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