Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
