Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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