I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
