so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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