I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize