im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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