the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
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Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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