After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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