DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
