I hope mine doesn't look like that
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
where are you?
Hypothermia
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
