Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
