direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
