I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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