He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wish there were birth control emojis
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
