Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize