Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
