there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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