I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize