I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We are two peas in an std pod
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
