Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
