the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
