I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
