I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
